H:Oh,a radish!A big radish!I’ll pull it out.
The radish is too heavy. I can’t pull it out.
D: I’m a dog. I’m hungry. Oh, Miss hare,What are you doing.
H:Hello,Mr.Dog.A radish,a big radish.It’s too heavy.I can’t pull it out.
D:I’ll help you.Let’s pull it together.
H:Thank you .Let’s pull it together.
H&D:One,two,begin!Ai---Hay—Yo!Ai—Hay—Yo!Oh,the radish is too heavy.We can’t pull it out.
M:I’m a monkey. I’m hungry.Oh, What are you doing?
H&D:Hello,Mr. Monkey. A radish, a big radish. It’s too heauy. We can’t pull it out.
M:I’ll help you. Let’s pull it together.
H&D:Thank you. Let’s pull it together.
H,D&M:One,two,begin! Ai---Hay---Yo! Ai—Hay---Yo!Oh,the radish is too heavy. We can’t pull it out.
G:I’m a goat. I’m hungry.Oh, what are you doing?
H,D&M:Hello, Mr.Goat.A radish. a big radish.It’s too heavy. We can’t pull it out.
G:I’ll help you. Let’s pull it together.
H,D&M:Thank you.Let’s pull it together.
H,D,M&G:One,two,begin.Ai—Hay—Yo!The radish is big.The radish is heavy. Ai---Hay—Yo! We must work hard. We must pull it out.
H,D,M&G:Ai—Hay—Yo!Ah, the radish is out! A big radish!We’ll eat it together .A heavy radish!
甲：Hello,every one, have you ever seen the movie<Avatar>? Yeah, you are right, I'm the director-- Cameron Diaz, applaud , thank you…Recently, I will direct a new movie called < Avatar 2 >, today, there will be a audition and I will select three actresses who can get the chance to perform in this film with famous actress---Anne Hathaway,OK, let's begin. At first , talent show, number one, let's welcome.
乙：（风情万种，妖娆妩媚地走进来，给观众一个飞吻）：oh,honey,dear,sweet,darling director, the most beautiful charming, sexy girl is coming , every body knows me, right? Yeah, I'm Nicole Kidman, open your eyes as big as you can and hold your breath, there will be a unique, fantastic dance show for you, I believe that all of you will be crazy about it ,（打个响指） come some music.（搞笑舞，自由发挥）。 （跳完，鞠躬，向观众谢幕）， thank you,（面向导演）， honey, is it a wonderful performance?
乙：（在甲眼前晃手），oh, darling, are you Ok?
甲：eh…my god, have you use some stimulant drugs this morning, you make my nerves nervous. Get out , next one.
乙：oh no …sweet ,you break my heart…（掩面离去）
丙：oh it seems to be serious. God bless me（画个十字架，镇定地走到甲面前，伸出手）， nice to meet you, director.
甲：（与之握手），nice to meet you too,so, introduce yourself please.
丙：I'm Celine Dion, you know, I don't have too many achievements, I just won five Grammy awards, 12 World Music Awards, 7 American Music Awards , 21 Juno Awards and（做沉思状） oh, I forget it , a Oscar Award, （同学鼓掌，乙作安抚状），oh, calm down, calm down,it's just a piece of cake for me ,you know, I…
甲：ok ,stop, time is limited, just begin
丙：OK!!! I'll use my first signature song to conquer you --my heart will go on, just enjoy it.
near, far, wherever you are
i believe that the heart does go on
once more, you opened the door（甲stop stop,丙不理，继续作深情状）
and you're here in my heart,
and my heart will go on and on.
甲：guard ,guard,help,drag this mad woman out.
Oh, I'm dying,hope the next one will give me a surprise
丁：（对着乙的'背影，沉思状）to be,or not to be,it's a question!（走到甲面前牵起她的手做亲吻状），I'm glad to see you,my dear princess.
甲（做娇羞状）：oh, it's really a big surprise,so what's your name?
丁：My name? Oh, wait a minute. Do you know Trish Regan?（甲，白痴的摇头），eh,it's ok,then how about Robin Meade?（摇头），and Melissa Theuriau?（摇头），（丁，情绪激动），you know nothing, how can you sit in here.
甲（指门，气愤状），you you you……
丁：ok ok, it doesn't matter, you needn't learn about them, but you must know me, the most famous hostess who will catch up with those person and become the greatest poet---oprah!
甲：I don't care who you are, just show me your talent.
丁：ok ,listen,one poem,I have had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her "I love you"!
甲（起鸡皮疙瘩状）：oh, I can't stand, show you the door,
丁（转身离开，继续台词）：If there is a time limit, I hope, it is （回头，对甲）10 thousand years.
甲：oh, it's really a terrible ,awful, horrible day,why it is such difficult to find an excellent actress.Oh, I'm dying,you three, come here,
三人跑进来，乙妩媚状：honey, you like my dance,right?
丙镇静状：director,you like my singing,right?
丁深情状：princess,you like my poet,right?
三人同声：we are past,right?
甲：ehThank you for your ehWonderful performance,but,I'm sorry to tell you …（接电话） What? Nobody comes here except they three,oh…god.（挂电话，低头），you three,（抬头），pass!
三人欢呼，说：we make it,we are superstar!
乙（甜蜜状）：that's very sweet of you,we love you so much（飞个吻）
甲：you know, you are not good enough now, but I'm look forward to your progress.Do you have confidence?
说明：绝对搞笑，绝对雷人，鉴于所花精力，所以，适当地收一点点辛苦费，第一个表演舞蹈时，音乐可以选用<猪八戒背媳妇>,第二个唱<my heart wil go on>时，一定要跑调加破音，第三个一定要足够深情恶心，就这么多提醒的，希望您看得开心，下的舒心。
laughing in the wind
人物：令狐冲（linghuchong），小师妹（little sister），任盈盈（yingying），东方不败（invincible eastern），小尼姑（little nun），田伯光（tianboguang），林平之（linpingzhi） 第一幕
令狐冲：little sister ,you are the most beautful girl in this world!i will love you forever .
小师妹：（害羞）oh!really?you are the most handsome boy I have ever seen!i love you too!
令狐冲：I love you too
小师妹：I love you too too
令狐冲：I love you too too too!
令狐冲：oh little sister ,your sword!
小师妹：no it’s your sword!
小师妹：it’s madness when I say it ,but not when you say about it! 令狐冲：ok , you are right ,it’s my sword. （顺从态）
令狐冲：little sister ,there is one thing I want to tell you ,master asked me to go downhill for a few days ,so during my absence ,brother lin will be with you ,take good care of yourself ,I will be back soon.
小师妹：rearlly?oh , my life will be boring without you!（伤感）so,good-bye!（突然兴奋）
小尼姑：if you talk any more nonsence, I’ll hit you with my sword! 小尼姑：keep away! keep away!
田伯光：let me take good care of you!don’t be afraid of me , I’m the most handsome man in china.
令狐冲：stop that! Don’t hurt that girl!
田伯光：who is that man?run far away if you don’t want to pass away! 令狐冲：so ,let’s fighting!（音乐，用功夫里面的那首）
田伯光：give out that little boy!you can’t stop me from enjoying my life with her!
令狐冲：no ,if that!if that ,I’d rather die!
小尼姑：unbelievable!he’s my hero!
东方不败：what a handsome man ,it would be a pity if you die here.and that’s why I save you ,so ,don’t fall in love with me ,forever!
令狐冲：you are a man ,how can I fall in love with you!
东方不败：but what if I ware a girl?
令狐冲：if that ,I won’t believe in love for any longer
东方不败：wait for me here!i’ll be back soon!
令狐冲：you you are so beautiful! I love you
东方不败：no !we can never be together ,not because of you ,nor because of me ,it’s the world to blame!goodbey honey ,we won’t meet again.
令狐冲：I lose again ,little sister ,brother lin is always help you !what’s the matter with you honey?
小师妹：so I will tell you the truth ,I am in love with brother lin ,compared with you ,he is more hot, he have strong kiss with me every now and then .but you ,have not even touch my hand during the past few years!
令狐冲：I’m so sad to hear that
任盈盈：brother linhu ,don’t be sad ,when you are longly ,I will be right by your side!
令狐冲：thank you yingying ,when everbody leave me ,you are the only one stay with me .
任盈盈：when you are longly ,I can play music for you ,so ,let us be together! I wana be your girl , and you are my boy!
令狐冲：ok,you are my girl now, do what you want to do!
（旁白：two years later ,it is said that invincible eastern was killed by linhuchong , the biggest enemy died , but the world get worse , people suffer from songshanpai . linghuchong live with renyingying from that day on , but is he happy ? who is the girl really in his heart? ）
田伯光：welcome to "no honesty no bother" I’m the compere xiaotiantian .taday there are 4 girls waiting for their boy.now let’s welcome the sunny boy linghuchong!（音乐）
令狐冲：holle everybody , I am linghuchong from huashan mountain,I’m a strong man as well as a handsome boy,you will never regret if you choose me .
田伯光：so girls , it’s time to turn down your light , to turn or not to turn it is a question
田伯光：it’s out of my surprise!all of the lights are on!so you can choose the girl you love best.
小师妹：brother , it was all my fault before, brother lin is no longer a real man I am so longly these days, the boy I really love is you!
小尼姑：brother , you have saved me , all my body ang heart are yours! 任盈盈：brother chong ,I am the girl who accompanied you .when you feel longly ,I played music for you .when you are happy ,I played music for you .when you are sad ,I played music for you!
令狐冲：but don’t you know I don’t love music?（径直走向东方不败，牵住她的手）
令狐冲：I thought you have passed away, it is so good to see you again 东方不败：I was saved by your master fengqingyang （停顿）。You wanted to kill me ,why choose me now?
令狐冲：I did’t want you know?it was not decide by me !belive in me ,you are the girl in my heart ! whether past or present!
东方不败：I won’t belive in you any more , you have so many female friends ,any of them can be your girl friend , isn’t it?
令狐冲：the girl you love is not the one who grow up with you ,nor the one who like you ,nor the one who play music for you ! she is the one you feel right ,and that is the most important.belive that you will always be my girl!
东方不败：thank you for your love , which I can’t afford to.we can never be together, it is decide by God . I will not marry you , nor see you again .so ,it is the last time we see each other .choose the one you like best and be kind to her .